... you have been warned.
Preface: I have friends who work the graveyard shift (or they're insomniacs). Sometimes they get bored. Sometimes, I spend the wee morning hours messing around with them online, like a big happy game of cyber-tag...
Or cyber-"I tagged you with something outrageous, see if you can one-up me."
"Ahoy, matey! Call me Ahab! Thar she blows.... oh, nevermind."
This looks horrifying until you scroll down the stats section and realize it's only 1.5 ft. tall ("assembly required").
But wait! Here's a lovely little soldering gun with holder in girl-friendly pink!
Maybe not.
This one is very Shaun's-uniform-fetish after dark (and I think Chuck would laugh at it too):
Like Dr. Steel (TM) taking over the world, one "goody cabinet" at a time.
Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous!!! If you require heavy machinery, you need to GIVE "IT" A REST!!! Just because you beat the crap out of it [pun intended] before and it bounced back doesn't mean it's going to stay that way!!
Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you keep making that face, it'll freeze like that?!
Okay: stop. Just... stop.
At this point my horror movie-saturated mind pictures mechanical failure resulting in multiple stabbings. It also makes me think there's a room full of heterosexual, male engineering geeks out there who've watched too many episodes of Jackass.
OW OW OW!!! OH SWEET CHRIST! *THAT'S IT!* I'm finishing this wine and calling it a night!!
I have GOT to start going to bed before 4 a.m.
