GODDAM LEAF BLOWERS!!

I don't need a calendar. I can mark days by the arrival of the leaf blowers. Goddam mutherf**kers who use gas powered devices to move seven leaves 30 feet.

Suffering a monsoon on a Monday, they're here on Tuesday. Winter rainstorms? They're here Fridays. They're more accurate than the weatherman.

They fill the air with gas fumes. They make more noise than elephants on fire. They blow all the leaves and wood chips out of the mulch islands between the parking spots... The mulch areas where lazy dog owners send their dogs to shit at midnight.

Then the semi-soft turds catch leaf blower air and plaster themselves to our front doors... Or the dried out nuggets lodge under the wainscoting beneath those same doors.

And if you work graveyard shift, forget about a good night's sleep once a week, every week.

Asylum Street Spankers know our pain:



This is from their appearance on the Bob and Tom Show.