Men With Bikini Collections Rock

Did you think I died? Well, I did hit a medical brick wall, but I'm still looking for the joy in life and the people around me.

Please watch this video staring the hysterically funny Steve Kardynal. It will make you laugh until it hurts and keep you smiling all day long.

'Divinyl' Homage

Yes, I've been off the cyberwaves for a long time, so here's a little something to help string you along until my lazy hinder posts again:

UPDATE: 12/3/2012

The Titanic Twins removed my favorite video of a nipple-twisting karaoke version of the Divinyls' "I Touch Myself". I'm replacing it with what I'd like to retitle "Chronic Overdose Jesus". Don't try to understand, just enjoy the ride.

The YouTube profile is here: Titanic Twins...

And there are references to Christianity.

To me, it is unclear whether the religious references are sincere or sarcasm, but, either way, it's a huge chunk of awesome.

This Ain't Your Grandpa's Tool Shed

Please turn back now if you're under the age of 18, or sex toys offend you:

... you have been warned.

Preface: I have friends who work the graveyard shift (or they're insomniacs). Sometimes they get bored. Sometimes, I spend the wee morning hours messing around with them online, like a big happy game of cyber-tag...

Or cyber-"I tagged you with something outrageous, see if you can one-up me."




"Ahoy, matey! Call me Ahab! Thar she blows.... oh, nevermind."



This looks horrifying until you scroll down the stats section and realize it's only 1.5 ft. tall ("assembly required").




But wait! Here's a lovely little soldering gun with holder in girl-friendly pink!





Maybe not.





This one is very Shaun's-uniform-fetish after dark (and I think Chuck would laugh at it too):



Like Dr. Steel (TM) taking over the world, one "goody cabinet" at a time.








Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous!!! If you require heavy machinery, you need to GIVE "IT" A REST!!! Just because you beat the crap out of it [pun intended] before and it bounced back doesn't mean it's going to stay that way!!
Didn't your mother ever tell you that if you keep making that face, it'll freeze like that?!






Okay: stop. Just... stop.

At this point my horror movie-saturated mind pictures mechanical failure resulting in multiple stabbings. It also makes me think there's a room full of heterosexual, male engineering geeks out there who've watched too many episodes of Jackass.








OW OW OW!!! OH SWEET CHRIST! *THAT'S IT!* I'm finishing this wine and calling it a night!!

I have GOT to start going to bed before 4 a.m.

The Muppets Rock

This makes me so freaking happy.
During the rock crescendo, I instinctively began headbanging.

Happy Tuesday, everyone. Turn up your speakers, especially if you're in a cubicle.




Thanks to Jewels, who is definitely having a wonderful impact on her own little muppets.

One-Sided Conversation

When you post surveys or meme's on a social site, you should expect most people to ignore them.
To the masses, it's basically a Twitter Monologue.

However, there are those pen-and-paper dorks, such as I, who do most of our casual reading online these days... And read every line of every survey you post, frequently bursting into ironic laughter or verbally barking at the computer screen, "What do you mean you're a 'good girl'?! HELLO?!? Who was the first married lady to get naked in the hot tub at Girls Weekend in Vegas?!"


It's been a bit since we checked in with St. Nick... And guess who posted a survey.

"Let's Get Ready To RUMMM-BLE!":



Who do you think reads these?
no one.
[Oh, you foolish, foolish man.]


Are you reading any books right now?
The Yeats Reader but I got a bunch more for variety :)
[Good literary choice to balance out those bodice-rippers.]


Have you ever peed in the woods?
well yeah, who hasn't, you're not a whole person unless you become one with nature by peeing on it.
[But have you ever peed on yourself while peeing in the woods?]


Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
there's always music, in my head.
[Like your own soundtrack? I'm thinking yours is Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees.]


Do you chew your pens and pencils?
nope, more of a suckle, lol, jk
[Please tell me there's a blackmail photo on the web.]


What is your "Song of the Week"?
Simply Irresistible "She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force You're obliged to conform when there's no other course She used to look good to me, but now I find her

Simply irresistible"

[That's so St. Nick.]


Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
no
[Please, like you're not wearing a pink polo while you sip sangria and thumb Yeats.]


Whats your favorite love movie?
Before Sunrise..Sunset
[Okay, those are the favorites of the relationship/emotionally-challenged... and also Starshine's favorites... 'nuf said.]


Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
N/A
[BTDT. But were you wearing booty glitter at the time?]


What's upset you the most in the past week?
a cold onion, quatro, jager, whiskey, and beer.
[You and you macho man breakfasts, sheesh.]


When is the last time you said "i love you" to your number 1 on your top?
doesn't quite fit.
[Um, huh? Was that supposed to be "to your number 1 while they're on top"?]


When was the last time you cried?
When I had some super strong coffee and didn't blink for like 20 minutes.
[Ha ha; you rock.]


Is the last person you kissed more than a year older than you?
Dude, I went to a wedding, there were grannies there, so technically, many years older!
[Nothing says 'sexy' like the sweet taste of Bengay and Fixodent.]


You have to get a piercing, what do you get?
brow i suppose
[And if we bet you a lot of money on a dare?]


Do you like when people play with your hair?
Love it!
[...When it's old ladies fresh from bingo with a big jackpot to spend.]



Oh, St. Nick, how we enjoy your delicate balance of smart-ass and clown-with-disturbing-smile. I think it's time for more Pho, yo!