(Sex) Changing the Baby

Some of you may have discovered these in your e-mail box, but, after getting into the intentionally wry (and humorous) debate over the Miley Cyrus picture flap on Chuck's blog, I felt the need to share:


You had a baby, but Daddy always wanted a little Jr. to whom he could teach the joys of sports and urinals? Or Mummy wanted a lace-covered lovely?


No longer a problem!






They even have a convenient payment plan, which helps ease the burden of all those necessary follow-up procedures, like little Timmy's breast implants at age thirteen.


With years of hormone injections and body-waxing ahead, a parent or guardian should do a lot of research on their child's primary health care provider(s).

Remember: Selecting a provider based solely on cost can have dire consequences. Your wallet may feel the pinch, but think of how much you'll save on therapy bills down the road....
















Umm... There's a reason to have the entire staff review the company logo before moving ahead with the sign order:

























Oh, well... Nothing says 'professional' like 500 business cards with sexually suggestive art.

At least you have something to toss in the 'win a free lunch' fishbowl at the Elephant Bar.


(Oh, Jewels... How you make the day brighter... Thanks for the chain mail.)

Mmph... Pardon the Drool

I think my nervous system just gave out:

Lovends (Music and lyrics copyright of John L.)


Some of the best romantic vampire stories synced to a haunting melody...

Somebody get me a lace handkerchief... Or a pint of A negative.... Or a booty call.

You, probably, will not be surprised to discover that the singer/songwriter, John, is related to a musician mentioned in an earlier post, Jenni Wildflower.

Rumor has it this family is seriously contemplating an official collaboration in the Seattle area. If they go on tour, I'll be the geek in the front row wearing a homemade band T-shirt and holding up a lighter during all the slow jams.

We Likes The Meat

So many wonderful early-twenties memories of waking up on someone else's couch, and hearing:

"Who's ready for breakfast meat?"

... or maybe it was "Who wants a big plate o' meat?"

I'll concede it isn't an exact quote, but my Dogg Brain had suffered heavy damage on those nights prior to the morning "meat's up" cry.

Anywho, there are certain carnivorous members of the Pak (Hezzah? Zingger?) who will appreciate:

Breakfast Cake

(it's a sausage, bacon, and cheese quiche with Bisquick to make cake and gravy frosting)

I haven't had the pleasure of meeting these people... The post mentions Issaquah, so I'll assume they reside east of Seattle, WA.

Yes, he is double-fisting beer and coffee.

Is it any wonder I love the Pacific Northwest.

IS THAT "ROCK BAND" EQUIPMENT I SPY?!

Ummm, I'm trying to relocate in a northerly direction... You guys need a roommate?

Who Wants To Scrub The Grill?

OMFG.

Remember those summer nights, the grill smoking in the background while the kids play in the yard?

...Sinking your arm into a cooler up to the elbow, digging for the preferred beverage?

And then the rain would break, soft and heavy, hissing on the pavement, on the overheated grill...

And what to do IF THE GRILL GOT WET....

Uh, huh.

I guess the girl behind the grill is the most important variable in the equation...

(Thanks to Starshine for this giggle.)